Sunday, November 1, 2009

Forgive, Forget, & Move On

Forgive: To cease to end resentment against someone. To let go of any grudges or bad thoughts of a person.

Forget: To not think about past memories (good or bad). To move forward and think postive about the of the future.

Move On: The hardest one of them all. To Forgive and Forget.


For Some of us, this is hard to do. No matter how hard it seems to forgive someone who hurt you, it is not impossible. In order forgive someone, you need to let go of all your pride. You cannot be truely sorry if you don't let go of all your selfish thoughts, especially of the person that hurt you. Forgivness is the first step to moving on. Maybe you don't want to forgive this person? Ever. Well, think about it. Will it do you any good for the future? Will it make you happier if you don't forgive anyone that did you wrong? How will this affect your other relationships or future relationships?

Martin Luther King, jr.:
"We must develop and maintain the capacity to forgive. He who is devoid of the power to forgive is devoid of the power to love. There is some good in the worst of us and some evil in the best of us. When we discover this, we are less prone to hate our enemies."

Mohandas K. Gandhi:
"Forgiveness is choosing to love. It is the first skill of self-giving love."

Forgiveness not only helps you emotionally...the benefits of forgiveness:

Lower blood pressure
Stress reduction
Less hostility
Better anger management skills
Lower heart rate
Lower risk of alcohol or substance abuse
Fewer depression symptoms
Fewer anxiety symptoms
Reduction in chronic pain
More friendships
Healthier relationships
Greater religious or spiritual well-being
Improved psychological well-being

When you experience hurt or harm from someone's actions or words, whether this is intended or not, you may begin experiencing negative feelings such as anger, confusion or sadness, especially when it's someone close to you. These feelings may start out small. But if you don't deal with them quickly, they can grow into something even bigger. They may even begin to crowd out positive feelings. Grudges filled with resentment, vengeance and hostility take root when you keep thinking about hurtful events or situations, replaying them in your mind over and over again.

Soon, you may find yourself swallowed up by your own bitterness. You may feel trapped and may not see a way out. It's very hard to let go of grudges at this point and instead you may remain resentful and unforgiving.

If there is someone in your life you have trouble forgiving. Work on it and soon you will find it easier to forgive them. Once you forgive, you will find that peace you've always wanted.


"I forgave, now I have to forget??" Yeah, forgeting about something or someone that hurt you can be even more difficult than forgiving, but it's the only way to move on and be HAPPY. It may take awhile, but when you forget, you will find yourself more positive about the future. Maybe a boyfriend or girlfriend cheated on you. Well, the person doing the cheating will sooner or later feel sorry about what he/she is doing or what they have done. They will be the unhappy ones. Maybe the person who hurt you is the one forgiving you first? Should you push them away and still stay mad at them? Of course not. Be mature about the situation and accept their apology. Attention is limited. You can only focus on so many things at a time, and the less you focus on something the more it fades away in your mind. So the key to how to forget something is to place your attention somewhere else.

"I woke up and noticed the sun shined a little brighter that morning. It was because I was able to forget about my negative past and forgive all those that had hurt me."

Moving On.

Moving on heals a broken heart. Once you are able to forgive and forget, you are able to finally move on. Time heals everything. There may be some days the negative thought may come into your mind. Don't let them linger there. Quickly think of something else that makes you happy, or go out and do something that makes you happy! Eventually, the thoughts of a person that hurt you will fully disappear and you won't even think twice about it when it comes into mind again. A breakup, A divorce, A person who gossiped about you, A mother who criticized you, A friend that turned on you. All are very difficult, but believe me, If you Work on Forgiving and Forgetting and remember the important things in life. Your thoughts will become positive and you will find yourself alot happier. Don't let ANYONE bring you down. No one can MAKE you feel the way you do. It is all YOU.

You forgive me for liking you too much,
And I'll forgive you for not liking me enough.

You forgive me for missing you so,
And I'll forgive you for being so cold.

You forgive me for the loud racing of my heart,
And I'll forgive you for not hearing it.

You forgive me for playing your games,
And I'll forgive you for toying with my emotions.

You forgive me for finding you so attractive,
And I'll forgive you for not noticing.

You forgive me for raising you up so high,
And I'll forgive you for bringing me down so low.

You forgive me for wanting to be with you,
And I'll forgive you for avoiding me.

You forgive me for being so pathetic,
And I'll forgive you for taking advantage of it.

You forgive me for not being able to let go,
And I'll forgive you for never having latched on.

You forgive me for having hopes and dreams,
And I'll forgive you for crushing them.

Forgiveness brings inner peace.
Do we have a deal?


  1. ash I love that you have a blog. your words are beautiful.

  2. life is beautiful just to be wasted and lived full of bitterness.

  3. I will always love you..Sarah b.