Hold On-Donna Hughes
Miles of highway, between me and my home
I think about you, when it rains and I'm alone
Another day, another memory
The sun disappears
Another morning without you and I...
cry another tear
What I want might not make me happy
What I do might bury me
What I'm chasing might not ever happen
And it might not set me free
Anything you decide to take for granted
Is just the same as letting go
The hardest thing you'll ever do is find you something
That makes you happy, and knowing how and when to hold on
It's taken so long to get where I am
I've got a long way to get where I wanna stand
Sometimes I'm crazy, for the things that I believe
Have I done the best I can, is this, the best that I can be?
What I want might not make me happy
What I do might bury me
What I'm chasing might not ever happen
And it might not set me free
Anything you decide to take for granted
Is just the same as letting go
The hardest thing you'll ever do is find you something
That makes you happy, and knowing how to never let it go
These past few months have made me realize alot about Life. Finally I am able to begin to write again. For those of you who have read the book called The Secret, It really works. If you believe in yourself and believe that you can be happy, then you will automatically become a happier person. The mind works in ways we will never fully understand. These past few years I would let my mind think about things that weren't important. I would want things I couldn't have. I would make myself depressed by my own thoughts. I remember one day I was having such a hard time, and I began smiling more. No matter how sad I was, When I began thinking about the positive things in my life, and what matters the most, I found that I went to bed smiling that night. To be honest, my problem that I've always had, was searching for someone to be with. I tried to find happiness from boys because I grew up feeling unloved by the most important people in my life. But truthfully, I was always loved. Because I had so many negative thoughts built up, I began to believe everything I thought about. Everyday I would tell myself My family didn't love me.
"Watch your thoughts, for they become words. Watch your words, for they become actions. Watch your actions, for they become habits. Watch your habits, for they become character. Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny." ~Anon.
Count all your blessing, not your trials. You Do not become a stronger person by what you've been through, but by how you reacted to the trials and how you dealt with it in a postive way.
When you Depend on other things to make you happy, you will never truly be happy. You will find that the happiness comes and goes.
Seven months ago, I met someone who I will never forget. Sometimes, the people who are in your life for a short amont of time, are the ones who make the biggest difference and impact you're life the most. He taught me alot about finding happiness. Russell Nielson is his name, but he goes by Rush Kane. When I first met Rush, I fell for him just like that.. I didn't even know his name at the time, but for some reason he stood out from the crowd. When I got to know him, He cared for me, he helped me become closer to my family and to God. The things that I needed in my life. To this day, I miss him. He is no longer in my life. I lost people I love and care about, because all of my negative thoughts turned into actions. Those actions transformed into habits. those habits became ME. I had lost a friend. Before He came into my life, I was going through one of the hardest times of my life. I was so depressed that I began physically hurting myself again. I did what I knew best. I pushed people away. I took everything for granted and I believed everyone was out to get me. I distanced myself from family, close friends, everyone who I know, loved me. But I didn't care. So many people gave up on me, so I decided to give up on myself. I would completey destroy every relationship, so that they would want to give up. Intentionally? no. I would always think the worst was going to happen no matter what. I never gave anyone a chance. It was all in my head.
The happiest time in my was when I was close to my family. When they became my best friends. I was close to God. I believed that he was there for me. I don't care if you have a religion or not. But, I have proof in my life that I cannot deny, that God is there for each and everyone of us. Then when all the trials came, I believed God gave up on me again. I stopped praying completely and stopped going to church. I wouldn't let anyone help me. I had a pride wall and I kept building layers every single day.
I realize everything that I did wrong. I made many mistakes and I learned from every single one of them. They say, live life with no regrets, and I agree with it. But there is one thing that I do regret. If I could, I would take back every mean word I said to someone. To family, friends, aunts, uncles, cousins, even Enemies. Everyone. Think before you say something, because those words can permanently ruin a relationship. Love everyone. Stop gossiping about people, teasing people, and bringing others down when you are down. Be that person that people look up to. The one that someone says, "I am blessed to have them in my life, because everything they did, helped me."
Be 100 percent responsible for all your thoughts and actions.
There are things that we hold on to. Some good and some bad. We hold on to things we love. We hold on to things we hate, but cannot forget.
Isn't in Ironic?
We ignore who loves us,
Adore who ignores us,
Love who hurts us
and Hurt who loves us.
Hold on to things that make you happy. Leave behind the things that causes you worry, stress, anger, and sadness. Hold on to your family, your career, education, kind people, people who are positive, good friends. There may be people you lost as well. People you love. It hurts, trust me I know because I've been there many times. I've lost people I love. Remember to Forgive, Forget, and Move on. If that person is making you depressed, then it is not worth your time. Did you know that Most people come back at least sometime in your lifetime? Sometimes it takes days, weeks, months, and sometimes years. So there is no reason to keep on worrying and stressing about them. Remember to be happy. More things are likely to happen when you have a positive outlook on life. Maybe they will never come back into your life. If thats the case, then they werent suppossed to. Everything happnes for a reason. God has a plan for you and certain people come and go in your life for a reason. Hang in there, I know its hard. Get your mind on more important things and let things fall into place. Everything Will make sense, if you let it.
Lil Me:)
I dedicate this blog post to my Family, because I love you guys so much. And For Russell Nielson, My Guardian Angel.
