Sunday, October 25, 2009
For What It's Worth
By Karen Millet
Today I'm learning
To stand on my own two feet.
Today I'm understanding
That our paths no longer meet.
Right now it's still so hard
For us to be apart
But you will forever
Reside within my heart.
Maybe this is not
Our final sad good-bye.
Maybe someday we
Can give it one more try.
Life isn't always
Exactly what we thought it'd be,
But for what it's worth,
I'm finally happy being me.
We either love the word or hate the word. Relationships can make us or break us depending on how we work on them. When you hear the word "relationship" you automatically think "oh a boyfriend or a girlfriend" but that is not the case. There are many different kinds of relationships. A relationship with your parents, friends, relatives, brothers and sisters, are all included in this area.
So many people these days are worrying so much about having a boyfriend or girlfriend that they lose sight of what is most important in their lives. If you're always trying to go out and find a boyfriend/girlfriend you most likely won't succeed. Why? Because when your life is boyfriend/girlfriend centered you don't care about anything else in life you just care about having that special someone. Balance is so important in life! What is Balance? well there are many different "centers" you can focus on. Whether it's school, family, friends, boyfriend/girlfriend, sports, work, religion, etc. All of these are good, but when one area is focused on more than the rest, it becomes a problem.
In a future post, I will talk more about Balance and how to work on balacing all areas of your life.
Now back to the topic of Boyfriend and Girlfriends....
Are you the kind of person who goes out on a first date and think, "OH, he/she is going to be my boyfriend/girlfriend. They are perfect, I'm already falling for them!"
Hold up! you are too forward and NEED to learn to take things slower! If you do this, you probably find that you are always getting your heart broken and you can't seem to find what you do wrong. Well, everybody's perspective on relationships are different. Not everyone may take things as fast as you and being forward scares people away. Committment is hard for many people. That is why it is so important to take things at a slower pace and see where it takes you. Don't get all upset if it doesnt work out. Like I said in my last post, Whatever happens, happens for a reason! Every challenge makes you a stronger person. You need to learn from it, think why it didnt work out in the first place, and then move on and take what you learned with you. I know it may seem hard, but I promise you, if you focus less on finding a boyfriend/girlfriend, it will come to you without you even trying. Of course it is important to put effort into making a relationship work, but if its your only focus in life, it WILL NOT WORK OUT. This is a two-way street and not a one way street. Both partners need to put effort into making it work. Communication is key.
Are you the type of person who shys away from anything that has to do with a relationship? You're on a date and your date talks about FEELINGS, or RELATIONSHIPS, or MARRIAGE!?!? And then you run. You DO NOT like commitment and the thought of being tied down gives you the chills. Don't worry my friend, alot of people are just like you. There is nothing wrong with not wanting to be in a serious relationship. Everybody is different and we all move at our own pace. If you are between the ages of 16-21...there is no need to rush! When you are married, you are married FOREVER! Have fun dating and it is totally up to you if you want a casual, serious or whatever kind of relationship there is. As you know, dating is a way to get to know what kind of person you want to spend your life with. The more you date, the better of an understanding you'll have of what you really want. If you are the kind of person who runs when your date talks about relationships, maybe not run so quick. Talk to your date about how you like to take things slow and that you're not ready for anything too serious. More than likely, you're date will understand. If not, then maybe you two arent right for eachother. Move on and find someone who fully respects your decision.
Relationships With Family, Friends, & Anyone Else
Healthy relationships are so important to have. Instead of worrying about your relationship with your boyfriend or girlfriend, try focusing on your relationships with your family and friends as well. Your family will always be there for you, maybe not your boyfriend/girlfriend. Spend time with your family and friends. Don't forget about anyone because you have found that special person. If you dont have a good relationship with your parents...then WORK ON IT. Talk to your parents about it and tell them you want to become closer. They will be more than happy to help work on it with you. Maybe go out with your parents and do fun activities together. Tell them about your day, Bring them home a card or something that shows them you care. Anything will help! My parents have become one of my best friends and I find that Im alot happier. Maybe you don't get along with your brothers and sisters? Well once again...WORK ON IT! Try doing the same things I talked about with the Parents. the more quality time you spend with them, the closer you will get. Find out some of your brother/sister's favorite things to do and go do it with them. They will love it! Even if it is something you would NEVER do...try it! Just have fun with them. That is what is most important.
If you are having trouble getting along with your friends...find out what causes it. Maybe they feel like they are being replaced by your boyfriend/girlfriend, or just another friend. Balance out your time with your friends. Maybe your friends are friends with eachother...then that shouldnt be a problem! Just Spend time with all of them! I know it's hard to meet new friends for some of you, but if you want a friend, be a friend. Treat others how you would want to be treated. When you do, you will find that your relationships will become alot healthier. Your friends are important so never push any away, especially those close to you. Of course everyone gets in fights, but don't be unfair. Talk to them and tell them what bothers you. Give them constructive feedback and tell them to give you some in return. Then you will both know what you need to work on as friends.