Friday, December 25, 2009

Addictions



An Addiction can be anything. The most common addictions we hear about are drugs, alocohol, sex, pornography, etc. Did you know you can become addicted to anything? An addiction is defined as an obsession, compulsion, and excessive psychological dependence. in other words, something you mentally/emotionally cannot live without on a daily basis. physical dependence can be a part of this, but usually, it's because of a substance/alcohol addiction, in which withdrawals occur. Did you know, people who start taking any addictive drug/alcohol, take it primarily to induce joy, pleasure, and fun. After a continued use of the goal, it becomes something you need to take in order to relieve anxiety after a long absence of use, causing someone to use it compulsively. Some other addictions are: Computer addictions, television addictions, relationship addictions, attention addictions, food, money, work, school, physical appearance, video game, etc. It can be anything. People who are addicted, often don't see that they have a problem. They think everyone else is the problem, not them. Addiction is different from abuse. You can abuse drugs and alcohol, but not be addicted.

Now that the definition of an addiction is clarified, let's break down all of the different kinds of addictions and explain them a little bit more...


Narcotics/Drug and Alcohol Addiction-


This kind of addiction is very well known. Many people who are addicted to drugs or alcohol find that they are trapped in a deep pit because not only do they become mentally dependent on it,(You THINK you need it to live your life normally, when in reality, it's not normal at all to depend to the point you feel helpless without it.) but, they also become physically dependent.(withdrawals, anxiety, etc.) Statistics show that the younger you are when you experiment with an addictive drug or alcohol, the more likely you are to become addicted later in life. You do not choose an addiction, an addiction chooses YOU. Before you know it, you begin to only care about one thing in life. Your drugs/alcohol and when you take it. Families fall apart because of the drugs and alcohol. Your personality changes and you become unhealthy in all areas of your life. An Addiction grabs you very fast, but slowly takes over your life one by one, use by use.


Material Addictions


This Addiction can be very many things. Computers, money, your phone, your ipod, your videogames, etc. Yes, These are all addicting and can take over your life, if you let them. If you absolutley CANNOT go a day without staring at the computer screen or the TV screen, and spend HOURS a day on them, it's probably an addiction. You can become addicted to money and not care about anything else. You'll obsess over how much money you have or don't have. It will become your number one thought on your mind. Material Items are okay, as long as they don't take over your life.


Love Addictions and Relationship Addictions


Genuine love is knowing and being known by another person. It is all about building intimacy by trust and sharing about oneself. An addiction, is the opposite. An addiction necessarily involves behaviors and mental sets which push genuine love and intimacy away. An addiction dulls both positive and painful feelings and prevents us from knowing ourself. We cannot share what we do no know, and genuine intimacy cannot thrive where an addiction is present. Love addiction is about unhealthy dependency and about poor self esteem. It is about a fear of abandonment and about an impaired sense of identify. It is about holding on to a relationship at all costs. It is not about loving too much. We are able to depend on another too much, we are able to cling to another too much, we are able to give another person too much responsibility for our life and happiness. We cannot love too much; genuine love is never bad and can never harm us. There are two types of love addicts. The first type of addict is a person who addicted to the ideal of simply being in any relationship any relationship at all. This addict is hooked on the idea of being part of a couple regardless of who her partner actually is. The second type of love addict is the person who is addicted to a particular relationship or a particular partner. This person is able to function well when she is not romantically involved, but gets hooked on a certain person and becomes less functional when involved with that person.


Physical Appearance Addictions


Appearance Addictions can become very serious. You become so obsessed with your looks that it becomes all you think, worry, and stress about. You find so much fault and flaws about your appearance (Even ones that no one else sees, but yourself.) to the point it takes over your life. These addictions can lead to disorders like bulimia, Anorexia, and Body Dysmorphic Disorder. You'll obsessive about standing out or fitting in. Some will become obsessed about looking in a mirror and others will stay far way from them. You will spend thousands of money, just to buy clothes, make up, accessories, plastic surgery, hair cuts and colors, etc. Peeople with these addictions are never completely satisfied with themselves so they feel like they have to keep spending more and more money. They desire so much to look good, that anything else in their lives becomes second priority. Family. Work. School. Careers. Children. Religion. Physical appearance is on top of everything else for these people. The Media plays a big role on these addictions. People with Physical Appearance addictions tend to get lost in media. The Superficial things. They will look at magazines of celebrities and wish they could look 'more like then.' They will always compare themselves to others. But in reality, The people in the magaines were altered or edited in some way. This video clip from the Dove Real Beauty campaign proves it.



(More Addictions to be added)-Ash.


Real Stories From Real People.

"I had just moved from my city-based town in California to a weird suburban area in Maryland, that one day I would miss with all my heart. I was seven years old, a little girl, on the bigger side, with strawberry blonde hair and not a care in the world, until September 17th, 2000. I was walking down the hallway of my new church building, just trying to find my mom. I remember seeing him for the first time. It always starts with a boy, doesn’t it? Well, it did for me. He had brown hair, blue eyes, and a little taller than me wearing a blue dress shirt and tan khakis. That’s when I fell, hard. I was only seven, but somehow I knew that he was perfect; all I wanted. His name was Nelson. He was my age and just totally and completely amazing. During the years we had become… just a little more than acquaintances and a little less than full on friends. When I was about ten or so, still full on loving this boy, I made the mistake of telling my friend, Claralyn that I liked him. I was in my house with my other friend, Ashley, who had told me that Claralyn had spilled the news to Nelson. I knew that was the end of everything. He was only ten, definitely not interested in girls yet. From then on it had always been awkward. He knew I liked him, and it felt like he was purposely using that against me a trying to hurt me. At that moment in time all I wanted was for him to like me too.
The time he got his first girlfriend was when the cutting started. Her name was Laura and I absolutely and utterly despised her. I mean, come on, who wouldn’t? Keep in mind that I was probably eleven at this time. I don’t know how I found out about cutting, but I did, and it was bad. Every time a thought of him came in my head, I cut. Every time I heard something about him and her, or saw a picture I cut. I used scissors because that’s what I could get a hold of. Cutting soon became an excuse for anything bad that happened. I got my friend, Nicollette to cut with me too. It made me feel more secure about this thing that was ruling my life. I told myself I could never stop until I bled. So every time I cut I at least bled a little. I was addicted, but I had no clue, and by this time I was a twelve year old girl in seventh grade, ruining her life cut by cut.
I was convincing myself that at thirteen years old I was in love with a boy and that I deserved to hurt myself, because he didn’t like me back. It was always so awkward between us. I dramatized it and made it more than it ever should’ve been. I made myself cry and cut over him practically every night. I was so unhealthy.
For the next two years I would live in misery. Cutting and crying every night, constantly thinking about him, hating him and loving him, and yet barely even talking to him. I tried to tell him sometimes, how much he was hurting me. I told my friend about it, she told her mom, her mom told my mom, and I denied it (the cutting). My mom was gullible enough to believe me. She couldn’t see past my fake facade. I hid it oh so well. Until, one night I’d had enough…of life.
My dad and I had just gotten in a huge fight. The other night my friend Sarah (who also cut) had overdosed on Advil. She took eight. I decided to do the same, except more. I was fed up with my family, my love for Nelson, my cutting, and basically life. I tried to kill myself. I overdosed on Advil, too. I took fifteen pills, and two seconds later texted my best friend, Leticia, scared to death. I was crying and crying. She was still at school and had the teacher call poison control and my mom. I got rushed to the hospital, and ended up having to drink two whole bottles of charcoal. It was horrid; but not enough for me to stop myself the second time, although this time, at least I was able to go back home.
After this experience I just kind of went on with life, although not nearly the same as before. I cautiously got back into cutting, and gradually declined my attendance in school. I was getting more and more depressed every day that I lived. The beginning of my sophomore year I overdosed again. This time, though, on the Zoloft that I was supposed to be taking. I just wanted to be gone. So I took about twenty pills. I didn’t text my friend right away this time. I just laid there trying to go to sleep and never wake up, although it was hard since I was bawling my eyes out. It was a classic, a depressed teenage girl killing herself over a boy.
Sitting in the silence, contemplating what to do, a half hour later my friend called me worried and then called my mom, who then angrily rushed me, again, to the hospital. Same old same, more charcoal, however, this time I was put into the Psychiatric Unit at Johns Hopkins Hospital; but even one of the best hospitals in the nation could not help my screwed up thinking patterns. I made them think it did though. I faked being happy for a good month or so. After Johns Hopkins I was put in an out-patient program called MSA which I went to everyday after school, but most days I didn’t attend school, so I went twice a day. It was helping, sort of, not really though. I wanted it to help, but it never did. It basically made it worse, because the other people who had cutting issues there told their stories, which just triggered me, and also taught me that instead of scissors, razor blades were sharper and easier. Everywhere I went, I cut. I had to. I was addicted. In the school bathrooms, at camp, in MSA bathrooms’, cutting was what I craved and needed to survive and keep me sane.
One night it was bad, so bad then ever before. It was worse than when I overdosed both times. I was feeling horrible. I needed to cut, and I was going to try razor blades. I had to break my razor to get the blades out, but at the time it was worth it. I didn’t know how severe my cutting or depression was, but what I was about to do basically explained it in one act. I took razor and carved as hard as I could NELSON into my left arm. I didn’t know that you didn’t have to push as hard as you did with scissors, but you don’t. I started bleeding immensely, I just kept going though, I didn’t care, and I loved it. I did it deep, to always remember. I thought I was going to bleed to death because it wouldn’t stop. I went downstairs and bandaged myself up. I couldn’t believe I’d bled that much, I’d probably lost a pint that night. To this day it’s still working on fading.
Surprisingly, two days later I got sent back to Johns Hopkins. I was there from January 11th to January 21st (longer than the first time). They didn’t know what to do with me. They were exploring many options, and all I wanted to do was go home. I told them everything was fine, but this time they were smart enough not to believe me. My parents discharged me on January 21st, 2009 and then told me that the next day we were going to Utah to visit a place that I might stay at to help me.
On January 23rd, 2009 I was an intake at Diamond Ranch Academy, in Hurricane, Utah. I was put into bright orange clothes so I couldn’t run away, although considering the fact that I was in the middle of the desert; I wasn’t stupid enough to do that. If you did the program perfectly, you could be out in 8 months. I was out in ten months and two weeks, so I definitely had some setbacks. At DRA I learned that I shouldn’t throw away my whole life for one boy. I’m worth so much more than that. I learned how to live with and overcome my depression. I learned to take responsibility for my actions, how to control my thoughts, and accept myself for who I am. I gained self confidence and happiness, which are two things I’ve always wanted. DRA gave me another shot at life. It gave me a chance to live happily and more healthy than ever before. I was on an emotional rollercoaster the whole time, because it was hard to be away from my family, friends, and home for that long period of time. I coped with the heartache, and instead of pushing my problems away, or running from them, I faced then head on with a smile!
Diamond Ranch Academy was the best and hardest experience I’ve had in my whole life; and it was so worth it. I graduated December 7th, 2009, and I’ve been doing great ever since. While I was away Nelson got sent away to a program as well. I have not seen him since I got sent away, but I know with all that I’ve been through, and all that I’ve learned, I can handle that experience great, and any trial that ever comes in my way, I can overcome it. I’ve been through a lot in the past eight years of my life, but I wouldn’t change it for the world."


-Katie Daly.


"My addictions have affected and changed my life forever. It not only destroyed me, but it destroyed my family as well. My relationship with my entire family became nonexistent, and as my addictions grew, I grew more and more distant from them. It affected my parents greatly as there were the ones who were constantly worrying about me. I'll never forget the night my dad drove all over town looking for me, scared that he would lose his daughter...this time for good. I had lost myself completely to all my addictions. My parents sent me to Diamond Ranch Academy in Utah on January 21, 2007. I got through the program, and graduated January 12, 2008, but i faked it. I had every intention of going home and going back to my old life again. I was home for two months and then got sent back to DRA in March of 2008 and I was there till February 2009. The second time around was a real eye opener to me, as I saw how much my addictions were desetroying my life. I did my program better the second time around and really took the advantage of "recovering." I know I will always be a recovering addict and I will struggle. I have learned that addictions DON'T bring true "happiness." I don't need something artificial to complete me. I have developed a higher power which has helped me drastically. I have slipped since being back from Utah, but I have taken the time to learn from my mistakes. I have been sober for 155 days and feel amazing. I know it's only the beginning, but I have the support and love of those around me. I have finally gotten my life on track and I have no intention of going back to my old ways which so dramatically changed my life!"


-Hannah Sinclair Cordis.

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Sex...It can wait.

Sex.



A hard topic for most of us, but a topic that should be talked about. Why? Because sex can either make or break a relationship. Sometimes, we can save the relationship, but after we've experienced something so physical with a partner, its impossible to go back. Nothing will ever be the same with that person.

We all wonder what it's like, and we all think about it sometimes. Sex can wait. It should be with someone you truely are in love with and care about deeply. Better yet, wait until you are married, because it is that much more special when you have it with someone you know you love. You will be much more happier and comfortable when you are married. Sex is a blessing from God, and he gave it to us so we can share something special with our partner. It shouldnt be used for anything less. Sex for fun, rape, or just out of curiousity won't do us any good. It can just make things worse, and most of us end up regretting the first time we have sex with someone we werent in love with.



Sex before a emotional connection...

So you really like someone, but you haven't really built anything to fall back on. The physical part of the relationship is good, but it should be taken slow. Actually WORK on building up a relationship. Communication is key. Share with eachother your thoughts and feelings. Talk about your past (if you're comfortable with it.) Do anything to get to know that person, like the back of your hand. When you have sex before you really get to know someone, it only causes both of you to become more distant and it will scare both of you. You will regret it and wish you could just rewind. Like I said, nothing will ever be the same with that person. If the relationship doesn't end right then and there, it will sooner or later. Or, the relationship will not be as healthy as it could be. It will take alot of time and patience to get the relationship back into the safe zone. THAT IS WHY YOU SHOULD WAIT IN THE FIRST PLACE!!! It should only happen when both of you truely feel ready for it. You should not pressure your girlfriend/boyfriend/partner into having sex. If they do, there's the read flag and if they cannot respect your decision, they won't respect you either.



Sex for fun...out of curiousity...

Maybe you enjoy it and don't really care who it's with, as long as you get laid. Maybe you should rethink what you are doing. Sure, It may be fun at the time, but think of all the risks you are taking when you are doing it with someone you barely even know or many different people. There are STD's, and if you are the person thinking it will never happen to you, guess again. Another risk is getting pregnant or getting someone pregnant. What are you going to do after that? Marry someone you barely know because you got pregnant? Abortion, killing an innocent baby just because of one simple action? Putting your baby up for adoption? Never talking to the person ever again just because of the pregnancy? All of these are questions we all think about and wonder.

-- ASHA. Sexually Transmitted Diseases in America: How Many Cases and at What Cost?

•More than half of all people will have an STD/STI at some point in their lifetime.

•More than $8 billion is spent each year to diagnose and treat STDs/STIs and their complications. This figure does not include HIV.

•Each year, one in four teens contracts an STD/STI.

•One in two sexually active persons will contact an STD/STI by age 25.

•One out of 20 people in the United States will get infected with hepatitis B (HBV) some time during their lives. Hepatitis B is 100 times more infectious than HIV.

•It is estimated that as many as one in five Americans have genital herpes, a lifelong (but manageable) infection, yet up to 90 percent of those with herpes are unaware they have it.

•With more than 50 million adults in the US with genital herpes and up to 1.6 million new infections each year, some estimates suggest that by 2025 up to 40% of all men and half of all women could be infected.


•Over 6 million people acquire HPV each year, and by age 50, at least 80 percent of women will have acquired genital HPV infection. Most people with HPV do not develop symptoms. Some researchers believe that HPV infections may self-resolve and may not be lifelong like herpes.

•Each year, there are almost 3 million new cases of chlamydia, many ofwhich are in adolescents and young adults. The CDC recommends that sexually active females 25 and under should be screened at least once a year for chlamydia, even if no symptoms are present.


•At least 15 percent of all American women who are infertile can attribute it to tubal damage caused by pelvic inflammatory disease (PID) , the result of an untreated STD. Consistent condom use reduces the risk of recurrent PID and related complications: significantly, women who reported regular use of condoms in one study were 60 percent less likely to become infertile.

•Consistent condom use provides substantial protection against the acquisition of many STDs, including statistically significant reduction of risk against HIV, chlamydia, gonorrhea, herpes, and syphilis.


Rape..



Are you a victim of rape? Don't worry everything will be okay, even if it seems like you're world is crashing down and you think you will never get close to another person ever again. Don't let it affect your life to the point you don't care anymore or you can barely funtion on a day to day basis. So many people love you so talk to someone about it. There are many people out there that will help you through this hard time. Revenge is never the answer. You may hate the person who did this to you, but like I talked about in an earlier post, Grudges will not help you physically and emotionally. Do yourself a favor and forgive. Even if it takes time. Maybe you're a girl and got pregnant from the rape. Well, don't do anything rash and kill your baby (THINK ABOUT IT) or EVEN YOURSELF. Yes, Girls do get depressed because of unwanted pregnancies. Once again, talk to someone about your thoughts and feelings. You will get through everything if you just keep your head up, i promise.

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

The Stressors:/ Of having a job..or not...

Work.





Ugh...we either hate our job, or we love it. After all, we get paid right? Some our our jobs are really simple, and others are complex and stressful. Though, it is possible to reduce the stress of everyday work. Maybe you have a job where you have to wake up at 5 in the morning, or even earlier. Well, make sure you get enough rest. No, four hours of sleep will not do you any good. AT LEAST eight hours will give you enough energy the next day. You will also find that the better rested you are, the less stressed out you will be.
Stress isn't always bad. Small amounts of stress can help you perform under pressure and motivate you to do things.

Not everybody resonds the same way to stress. There are three different ways people respond to stress:



Anger- Angry and agitated. You're easily heated, and overly emotional. You're unable to sit still.

Withdrawal- Withdrawn or depressed response. You show very little emotion or energy.

Both-Tense and frozen under pressure. You look like you are not able to function correctly, but deep down you are very agitated.

You may feel like the stress in your life is out of your control and impossible to handle, but you can always control the way you respond. Managing stress is all about taking charge: taking charge of your thoughts, your emotions, your schedule, your environment, and the way you deal with problems. Stress management involves changing the stressful situation when you can, changing your reaction when you can’t, taking care of yourself, and making time for rest and relaxation.



Maybe you have a boss or co-worker putting to much pressure on you? Well, the best way to handle this, is knowing WHY you feel stressed. If your boss is giving you too many hours or making you do too many things at once, simply, talk to them about it. Let them know you feel like you are doing too much and ask if there is any way you could change that. Dont whine and complain to them about it. Of course they won't feel bad when you are being negative or rude. Compromise with them or let them know you feel too pressured. Maybe you arent able to get what you want. If this is the case, make sure you have enough YOU time put into your schedule. If you do things you LOVE doing after a stressful day, its true that it reduces the amount of stress. So get out or stay in doing something you love doing. Even if you can't do it everyday, at least do it every once in a while. If a Co-worker is bothering you, once again, talk to your boss about it, NOT THE CO-WORKER. Your boss will more than likely handle the situation better than you would yourself.

If you have a spiritual side to you, pray! IT WILL HELP. You will feel so much more calm when you pray. Don't ever for a second think it is a waste of time or you won't get anything from it. That is not true!

All in all, jobs can be stressful, but it's just part of life. If everything was SO EASY, how would you learn from trials that make you into a stronger and more smarter person? If you deal with the stress and problems of life in a positive way, You'll start to see for yourself, why you were given the stress/trial.:] NOBODY's LIFE IS A VACATION THEIR ENTIRE LIFE.

JOBLESS

Another Stressor can be JOBLESS. Maybe you've been searching for a job for MONTHS, and still no luck. Don't blame yourself. The economy is bad, so it's even more difficult to find a job. The only thing you can do is search for a job daily and follow up. If you fill out an application, and don't hear anything back for a week or so, follow up and call. This gives you an even greater chance of getting the job, because it shows the person hiring you, that you actually care and WANT the job. Don't give up, all of your hard work of searching for a job will pay off sooner or later.:] You see those bums on the side of the road? well, YOU WILL NOT END UP LIKE THEM IF YOU KEEP UP THE HARD WORK. You'll end up like them if you screw up your life with drugs, alcohol, sex, etc. Besides, Alot of them still look decent enough to go out and find a job, but they already feel like no one would hire them..which is true if you have that attitude.



So lesson learned...KEEP a positive attitude and NEVER give up.

Saturday, November 7, 2009

Suicide

You're sitting in your dark closet and you're feeling the lowest you've ever felt in a long time. Suddenly thoughts of taking your life away fill your head. You are scared to do it, but you feel like killing yourself is the only way to get rid of your pain. You go downstairs and you see your family having a good time with eachother. You think to yourself, they could care less about me. You sneak a knife into your pocket. You go back up to your room and you stare at your knife for a long while. You want to do it, but you're afraid to, so you begin talking to your friends about how you want to kill yourself. You hope they will be able to talk your way out of it. You're friends don't take you seriously. This makes you feel worse. By the time your friends realize you werent kidding...It's too late....

Your friends call your cell phone over and over again and your answering machine is what they hear. The next morning your parents come up to your room to find you laying on your floor. With no heartbeat. Your family and friends are heartbroken. Some of them will get depression because of your death. They cry about you every day, wishing they could of done something to stop your suicide. They blame themselves because they feel they failed as parents, as siblings, as friends, as boyfriends or girlfriends. They beat themselves up over your death and they miss you. They will never get you back, no matter what they say or do. Your little sister cries about you all the time. She cries herself to sleep. She hangs a picture of you next to her bed. She misses playing with you. She misses you hugging her and tickling her. She even misses you insulting her...



Your little brother misses playing videogames with you. He loses interest in the things he loved doing. He locks himself in his room crying to himself. Your older brother has to come home early from his mission. For your funeral. Everybody cries. Everyone is miserable.

Do you want this to happen? Suicide is a selfish act. It not only hurts you, but your family. Your friends. Everyone who EVER communicated with you.


Suicide.

suicidal Thoughts begin to appear in the deeper stages of depression. You become so depressed, nothing seems to cheer you up. You are miserable and you are helpless. Others around you give up on you. Your family and friends back away because you PUSH them away. You are frusterated with yourself and you feel like suicide will be the best solution to everything. You begin to think you are an obstable in everyone's lives so you are doing them a favor. WRONG.



SO MANY PEOPLE LOVE YOU!!! Don't give up faith or hope. If you killed yourself, so many people will grieve over your death. You are loved don't ever forget that. If you are having suicidal thoughts, please talk to someone about it. Don't hold anything in, because it never does any good. The first people you should talk to about it, is your family. They will always be there for you and will help you through it. YOU NEED HELP! Don't deny it. Suicidal thoughts are very serious.

Tears
By Karen Millet


Standing all alone
In the midst of darkness
At times feeling
So
Afraid
Tears
Of rage
Of fear
Of a broken heart…

Sometimes glimpsing
A ray of light
Many
Miles
Away.

Chasing after it
Frantic footsteps
Echoing…
Only to watch
It fade from sight
Tears

Of exhaustion
Of frustration
Of a broken heart…

But keep walking
One step at a time
Keep praying
To see that light
Until one day

It stays
Growing ever brighter
Tears
Of pleading

Of hope
Of strength beyond my own
Lifted up
By angel’s wings

Rushing through the darkness
Feeling it disappear
Light
Brilliant
Glorious
True

The darkness cannot penetrate
Tears
Of joy
Of peace
Of a mending heart
Catching rays of light
To fill my soul
Leaving the darkness
Far behind
Beauty all around
And no more

Tears


FACTS ABOUT DEPRESSION AND SUICIDE:

15 percent of teenagers with untreated depression commit suicide

In 2000, 10.6 out of every 100,000 persons died by suicide [.01 percent].

For children age 10 to 14, the rate was 1.5 per 100,000 [.0015 percent]

For children 15 to 19, the rate was 8.2 deaths per 100,000 [.0082 percent]
In any given year, about seven percent - between 13 million and 14 million people - will experience a depressive disorder.

_ Of those who develop depression, only about 20 percent will receive adequate treatment.

_ About 16 percent of adults will experience depression at some point in their life.

_ About 97 percent of those reporting depression also reported that their work, home life and relationships suffered as a result.

_ Depression is also known to weaken the immune system, making the body more susceptible to physical illness.

_ Two out of every three people who commit suicide visited their health care provider in the month prior.

_ Two out of every three people who commit suicide have talked about suicide to friends or family.

_ Suicide is the third leading cause of death for people between the ages of 15 and 24.

_ Suicide is the sixth leading cause of death for children between the ages of 5 and 14


People often turn to suicide because they are seeking relief from pain. Remember that relief is a feeling. And you have to be alive to feel it. You will not feel the relief you so desperately seek, if you are dead.

Some people will react badly to your suicidal feelings, either because they are frightened, or angry; they may actually increase your pain instead of helping you, despite their intentions, by saying or doing thoughtless things. You have to understand that their bad reactions are about their fears, not about you.

But there are people out there who can be with you in this horrible time, and will not judge you, or argue with you, or send you to a hospital, or try to talk you out of how badly you feel. They will simply care for you.

i've come to learn that SUICIDE is NEVER the answer. It will only make things worse. If any suicidal thoughts come to mind, shut them out by thinking of the blessings in your life. be around people who make you smile and laugh when you are feeling this low. I promise you will cheer up in no time.

Always remember, Everything will get better in the end. We all have problems and trials in our lifetime, but if we are able to cope with them in a postive way and learn from our trials, it makes us into a stronger person.

REMEMBER YOU ARE LOVED. And everynight, SOMEONE thinks about you before they go to sleep...

Sunday, November 1, 2009

Forgive, Forget, & Move On

Forgive: To cease to end resentment against someone. To let go of any grudges or bad thoughts of a person.

Forget: To not think about past memories (good or bad). To move forward and think postive about the of the future.

Move On: The hardest one of them all. To Forgive and Forget.




Forgiveness.

For Some of us, this is hard to do. No matter how hard it seems to forgive someone who hurt you, it is not impossible. In order forgive someone, you need to let go of all your pride. You cannot be truely sorry if you don't let go of all your selfish thoughts, especially of the person that hurt you. Forgivness is the first step to moving on. Maybe you don't want to forgive this person? Ever. Well, think about it. Will it do you any good for the future? Will it make you happier if you don't forgive anyone that did you wrong? How will this affect your other relationships or future relationships?

Martin Luther King, jr.:
"We must develop and maintain the capacity to forgive. He who is devoid of the power to forgive is devoid of the power to love. There is some good in the worst of us and some evil in the best of us. When we discover this, we are less prone to hate our enemies."

Mohandas K. Gandhi:
"Forgiveness is choosing to love. It is the first skill of self-giving love."

Forgiveness not only helps you emotionally...the benefits of forgiveness:

Lower blood pressure
Stress reduction
Less hostility
Better anger management skills
Lower heart rate
Lower risk of alcohol or substance abuse
Fewer depression symptoms
Fewer anxiety symptoms
Reduction in chronic pain
More friendships
Healthier relationships
Greater religious or spiritual well-being
Improved psychological well-being

When you experience hurt or harm from someone's actions or words, whether this is intended or not, you may begin experiencing negative feelings such as anger, confusion or sadness, especially when it's someone close to you. These feelings may start out small. But if you don't deal with them quickly, they can grow into something even bigger. They may even begin to crowd out positive feelings. Grudges filled with resentment, vengeance and hostility take root when you keep thinking about hurtful events or situations, replaying them in your mind over and over again.

Soon, you may find yourself swallowed up by your own bitterness. You may feel trapped and may not see a way out. It's very hard to let go of grudges at this point and instead you may remain resentful and unforgiving.

If there is someone in your life you have trouble forgiving. Work on it and soon you will find it easier to forgive them. Once you forgive, you will find that peace you've always wanted.




Forget.

"I forgave, now I have to forget??" Yeah, forgeting about something or someone that hurt you can be even more difficult than forgiving, but it's the only way to move on and be HAPPY. It may take awhile, but when you forget, you will find yourself more positive about the future. Maybe a boyfriend or girlfriend cheated on you. Well, the person doing the cheating will sooner or later feel sorry about what he/she is doing or what they have done. They will be the unhappy ones. Maybe the person who hurt you is the one forgiving you first? Should you push them away and still stay mad at them? Of course not. Be mature about the situation and accept their apology. Attention is limited. You can only focus on so many things at a time, and the less you focus on something the more it fades away in your mind. So the key to how to forget something is to place your attention somewhere else.

"I woke up and noticed the sun shined a little brighter that morning. It was because I was able to forget about my negative past and forgive all those that had hurt me."



Moving On.

Moving on heals a broken heart. Once you are able to forgive and forget, you are able to finally move on. Time heals everything. There may be some days the negative thought may come into your mind. Don't let them linger there. Quickly think of something else that makes you happy, or go out and do something that makes you happy! Eventually, the thoughts of a person that hurt you will fully disappear and you won't even think twice about it when it comes into mind again. A breakup, A divorce, A person who gossiped about you, A mother who criticized you, A friend that turned on you. All are very difficult, but believe me, If you Work on Forgiving and Forgetting and remember the important things in life. Your thoughts will become positive and you will find yourself alot happier. Don't let ANYONE bring you down. No one can MAKE you feel the way you do. It is all YOU.

You forgive me for liking you too much,
And I'll forgive you for not liking me enough.

You forgive me for missing you so,
And I'll forgive you for being so cold.

You forgive me for the loud racing of my heart,
And I'll forgive you for not hearing it.

You forgive me for playing your games,
And I'll forgive you for toying with my emotions.

You forgive me for finding you so attractive,
And I'll forgive you for not noticing.

You forgive me for raising you up so high,
And I'll forgive you for bringing me down so low.

You forgive me for wanting to be with you,
And I'll forgive you for avoiding me.

You forgive me for being so pathetic,
And I'll forgive you for taking advantage of it.

You forgive me for not being able to let go,
And I'll forgive you for never having latched on.

You forgive me for having hopes and dreams,
And I'll forgive you for crushing them.

Forgiveness brings inner peace.
Do we have a deal?


Thursday, October 29, 2009

& The People Who Make Life Worth It.

I wrote this at DRA...It's called LIFE

Life Is Full of Suprises,
Many turns and many slopes,
It's filled with lots of grief,
Sadness, happiness, and hope.

Just Remember to stay postive,
In problems big and small,
the result will be marvelous
And will catch you when you fall.

I bet you are thinking,
What is my purpose here on Earth?
Remember God has a plan,
and in his eyes, he sees worth.

Whenever you feel lonely,
and tears of sadness fill your eyes,
Remember to say a prayer,
For, he will hear your cries.

Life is full of suprises,
Many turns and many slopes,
In the end it will get better,
just be positive, pray, and hope.



Ramari Rawson



Mom, You have always been there for me. Thank you for all that you do! I really appreciate everything you have done for me. I love you so much! I am so happy that we have become closer over the months. You have truely become one of my best friends and I feel like I can talk to you about ANYTHING. I know sometimes I can be a hand full but I promise Ill try to do better and work on the things I need to. I really enjoyed all the fun times we had. Going out to lunch, shopping, going to ogden to get our hair cut, etc. I hope sometime soon we will do something again. I love spending time with my mom:) You're the best and there is no other mom I'd rather have. LOVE YOU<3


Katie Skinner




Katie! I am so happy we started talking again. I know in the past we went through alot and became distant as friends...But as years went by we realized what we did was stupid! I Love you so freakin much. You have been there for me alot when I was down and helped me through it. I remember when we used to play mario sunshine for hours a day. We used to be obsessed with the shine sprites. I remember when we got in to neopets and became neopet freaks:) We also made creatures of our own and we loved it. We used to laugh about the stupidest things. haha. I loved it how we would sit and watch tv or a movie and play the tickle game. We loved tickling eachother because it felt amazing. (good ol middle school days) You really know how to put a smile on my face and to think more postively. I can't wait until we get to see eachother again! Hopefully, it won't take years...haha. I am so happy that you are doing good. You are one of my best friends and you always will be! love ya chica.


Ivanna Sanchez (aka MY TWIN)



Twin, I want to start this off by saying I LOVE YOU!!! You are another reason why I started my blog. Words couldnt even describe how happy I am that I know you. I loved talking to you every sunday about boys, school, facebook, DRA, LIFE. Sooner or later we finally began hanging out and it was the best! I remember we had a sleepover like 3 days straight. We never get sick of eachother:) You are my twin, sister, and best friend. Spending time with you, allie, and stevie at Youth Conference was prolly one of the best weeks of my life. We were always joking around and having fun being crazy us. I remember our inside jokes, especially..I AM SQUIDWARD, and how we used to say it ALL THE FLIPPIN time we prolly annoyed everyone..he he. I remember the talks we used to have about the different boys in our lives. I remember how you used to tell me I should marry your brother so we could really be related haha. We have so many memories!I love you! Thank you for being there for me. Im sorry for the times I was being a butt...you will always be my bestie and twin.<33


MORE TO COME:)

Sunday, October 25, 2009

Relationships:/



For What It's Worth
By Karen Millet

Today I'm learning
To stand on my own two feet.
Today I'm understanding
That our paths no longer meet.
Right now it's still so hard
For us to be apart
But you will forever
Reside within my heart.
Maybe this is not
Our final sad good-bye.
Maybe someday we
Can give it one more try.
Life isn't always
Exactly what we thought it'd be,
But for what it's worth,
I'm finally happy being me.

Relationships.

We either love the word or hate the word. Relationships can make us or break us depending on how we work on them. When you hear the word "relationship" you automatically think "oh a boyfriend or a girlfriend" but that is not the case. There are many different kinds of relationships. A relationship with your parents, friends, relatives, brothers and sisters, are all included in this area.

Boyfriends/Girlfriends



So many people these days are worrying so much about having a boyfriend or girlfriend that they lose sight of what is most important in their lives. If you're always trying to go out and find a boyfriend/girlfriend you most likely won't succeed. Why? Because when your life is boyfriend/girlfriend centered you don't care about anything else in life you just care about having that special someone. Balance is so important in life! What is Balance? well there are many different "centers" you can focus on. Whether it's school, family, friends, boyfriend/girlfriend, sports, work, religion, etc. All of these are good, but when one area is focused on more than the rest, it becomes a problem.

In a future post, I will talk more about Balance and how to work on balacing all areas of your life.

Now back to the topic of Boyfriend and Girlfriends....

Are you the kind of person who goes out on a first date and think, "OH, he/she is going to be my boyfriend/girlfriend. They are perfect, I'm already falling for them!"
Hold up! you are too forward and NEED to learn to take things slower! If you do this, you probably find that you are always getting your heart broken and you can't seem to find what you do wrong. Well, everybody's perspective on relationships are different. Not everyone may take things as fast as you and being forward scares people away. Committment is hard for many people. That is why it is so important to take things at a slower pace and see where it takes you. Don't get all upset if it doesnt work out. Like I said in my last post, Whatever happens, happens for a reason! Every challenge makes you a stronger person. You need to learn from it, think why it didnt work out in the first place, and then move on and take what you learned with you. I know it may seem hard, but I promise you, if you focus less on finding a boyfriend/girlfriend, it will come to you without you even trying. Of course it is important to put effort into making a relationship work, but if its your only focus in life, it WILL NOT WORK OUT. This is a two-way street and not a one way street. Both partners need to put effort into making it work. Communication is key.

Are you the type of person who shys away from anything that has to do with a relationship? You're on a date and your date talks about FEELINGS, or RELATIONSHIPS, or MARRIAGE!?!? And then you run. You DO NOT like commitment and the thought of being tied down gives you the chills. Don't worry my friend, alot of people are just like you. There is nothing wrong with not wanting to be in a serious relationship. Everybody is different and we all move at our own pace. If you are between the ages of 16-21...there is no need to rush! When you are married, you are married FOREVER! Have fun dating and it is totally up to you if you want a casual, serious or whatever kind of relationship there is. As you know, dating is a way to get to know what kind of person you want to spend your life with. The more you date, the better of an understanding you'll have of what you really want. If you are the kind of person who runs when your date talks about relationships, maybe not run so quick. Talk to your date about how you like to take things slow and that you're not ready for anything too serious. More than likely, you're date will understand. If not, then maybe you two arent right for eachother. Move on and find someone who fully respects your decision.

Relationships With Family, Friends, & Anyone Else




Healthy relationships are so important to have. Instead of worrying about your relationship with your boyfriend or girlfriend, try focusing on your relationships with your family and friends as well. Your family will always be there for you, maybe not your boyfriend/girlfriend. Spend time with your family and friends. Don't forget about anyone because you have found that special person. If you dont have a good relationship with your parents...then WORK ON IT. Talk to your parents about it and tell them you want to become closer. They will be more than happy to help work on it with you. Maybe go out with your parents and do fun activities together. Tell them about your day, Bring them home a card or something that shows them you care. Anything will help! My parents have become one of my best friends and I find that Im alot happier. Maybe you don't get along with your brothers and sisters? Well once again...WORK ON IT! Try doing the same things I talked about with the Parents. the more quality time you spend with them, the closer you will get. Find out some of your brother/sister's favorite things to do and go do it with them. They will love it! Even if it is something you would NEVER do...try it! Just have fun with them. That is what is most important.
If you are having trouble getting along with your friends...find out what causes it. Maybe they feel like they are being replaced by your boyfriend/girlfriend, or just another friend. Balance out your time with your friends. Maybe your friends are friends with eachother...then that shouldnt be a problem! Just Spend time with all of them! I know it's hard to meet new friends for some of you, but if you want a friend, be a friend. Treat others how you would want to be treated. When you do, you will find that your relationships will become alot healthier. Your friends are important so never push any away, especially those close to you. Of course everyone gets in fights, but don't be unfair. Talk to them and tell them what bothers you. Give them constructive feedback and tell them to give you some in return. Then you will both know what you need to work on as friends.

Saturday, October 24, 2009

Where I was for almost nine months.....


http://www.diamondranchacademy.com/


check it out if you're interested

uh happiness?

Happiness


We all hear the word, we all want it, but we don't know how to obtain it the RIGHT way.


The Fray


Happiness is just outside my window
Would it crash blowing 80-miles an hour?
Or is happiness a little more like knocking
On your door, and you just let it in?

Happiness feels a lot like sorrow
Let it be, you can’t make it come or go
But you are gone- not for good but for now
Gone for now feels a lot like gone for good

Happiness is a firecracker sitting on my headboard
Happiness was never mine to hold
Careful child, light the fuse and get away
‘Cause happiness throws a shower of sparks

Happiness damn near destroys you
Breaks your faith to pieces on the floor
So you tell yourself, that’s enough for now
Happiness has a violent roar

Happiness is like the old man told me
Look for it, but you’ll never find it all
Let it go, live your life and leave it
Then one day, wake up and she’ll be home
Home, home, home


The past few years, I have been struggling to be happy. I would always find the negative side of things and I was really reactive. I was depressed and have had issues with this traced back to when I was younger. It was around fifth grade my parents finally noticed something was wrong and took me to go see a counselor. They soon became helpless when I wouldnt respond to the medication or treatment in a positive way. Depression isn't like the blues you get every once in a while. It drags on forever and it feels like nothing will work. You lose interest in things you used to enjoy. People close to you distant themselves because not many people like to be around negative people for very long. Your life just seems to get worse and you feel like you are inside a maze, but can't find your way out. You lose sight of the light and people are telling you which way to go, but you have a hard time trusting people. You push people away because you want to go your own way. But this never works..

I was crying out for help...


Depression can be treated. DONT GIVE UP ON YOURSELF OR OTHERS TRYING TO HELP YOU!! There are many different causes of depression. The first step to treating your depression is to find out what may have caused it. Lost of a loved one, failed relationships, bad relationships, etc. Happiness is not impossible, but in order to obtain it, you have to put in effort to reaching it. Go out and get help from a nearby therapist, counselor, or anybody in that profession. Also, look in to getting medication. I promise it helps! Don't push those close to you. Try listening to what they have to say. They love you and want to help you! Start doing things that you love to do! Also, stay busy. This will help keep your mind off things you worry or stress about. If you believe in a higher power, go to that higher power for help. I am LDS so I have a belief and I go to my heavenly father for help. Praying and reading my scriptures always puts me in a better mood after.:)


Why am I talking about this? Well, Because I am still trying to find true happiness. I want to help others as well. I know what it feels like and I promise you, YOU ARE NOT ALONE! I may not know you, but i know there are people out there who love you and want nothing but the best for you.



Finding My Place
By Karen Millet

I can't tell you who I am
Because sometimes I don't know.
This world at times so vast
I'm unsure of where to go.
So many different people,
We don't all fit a perfect mold.
A thousand varied voices
Though I can't believe all I'm told.
So who decides what's right?
And who decides what's wrong?
How will I know if I'm singing
The right words to my own song?
Sometimes I don't know,
The person I'm going to be
But the place that I end up
Can be determined only by me.
So I'm finding my place
One small step at a time
And I'm writing my own song
Rhyme by rhyme...


On July 4th 2008, my parents dropped me off at a treatment center in Hurricane, Utah called Diamond Ranch Academy. It was the hardest and most emotional thing I ever had to go through, but i can honestly say it was worth every minute and penny. I learned so much! I have been blessed and I am thankful for my parents for letting me go through that experience. I know a year ago I would be sayin the complete opposite, but now that I sucessfully completed the real life transition program, I look back and am proud of myself for accomplishing something so big! Not everybody gets to go through what i went through and complete it.


life is tough, but if you tell yourself, "whatever happens, happens for a reason," I'm sure you'll start to believe it:]

Friday, October 23, 2009

A lil About Me

Hey everyone! For those who don't know me, my name is Ashley Rawson. I am 18 years young and currently going to Utah Valley University. Right now I am getting my generals done, but i want to major in psychology. I want to work with children, hopefully become a therapist for them. Its something I've wanted to do for awhile now. I love helping people, so if you ever need any advice, feel free to ask me anything, or just read my blogs because you might get the answer you are looking for.