Friday, December 25, 2009

Addictions



An Addiction can be anything. The most common addictions we hear about are drugs, alocohol, sex, pornography, etc. Did you know you can become addicted to anything? An addiction is defined as an obsession, compulsion, and excessive psychological dependence. in other words, something you mentally/emotionally cannot live without on a daily basis. physical dependence can be a part of this, but usually, it's because of a substance/alcohol addiction, in which withdrawals occur. Did you know, people who start taking any addictive drug/alcohol, take it primarily to induce joy, pleasure, and fun. After a continued use of the goal, it becomes something you need to take in order to relieve anxiety after a long absence of use, causing someone to use it compulsively. Some other addictions are: Computer addictions, television addictions, relationship addictions, attention addictions, food, money, work, school, physical appearance, video game, etc. It can be anything. People who are addicted, often don't see that they have a problem. They think everyone else is the problem, not them. Addiction is different from abuse. You can abuse drugs and alcohol, but not be addicted.

Now that the definition of an addiction is clarified, let's break down all of the different kinds of addictions and explain them a little bit more...


Narcotics/Drug and Alcohol Addiction-


This kind of addiction is very well known. Many people who are addicted to drugs or alcohol find that they are trapped in a deep pit because not only do they become mentally dependent on it,(You THINK you need it to live your life normally, when in reality, it's not normal at all to depend to the point you feel helpless without it.) but, they also become physically dependent.(withdrawals, anxiety, etc.) Statistics show that the younger you are when you experiment with an addictive drug or alcohol, the more likely you are to become addicted later in life. You do not choose an addiction, an addiction chooses YOU. Before you know it, you begin to only care about one thing in life. Your drugs/alcohol and when you take it. Families fall apart because of the drugs and alcohol. Your personality changes and you become unhealthy in all areas of your life. An Addiction grabs you very fast, but slowly takes over your life one by one, use by use.


Material Addictions


This Addiction can be very many things. Computers, money, your phone, your ipod, your videogames, etc. Yes, These are all addicting and can take over your life, if you let them. If you absolutley CANNOT go a day without staring at the computer screen or the TV screen, and spend HOURS a day on them, it's probably an addiction. You can become addicted to money and not care about anything else. You'll obsess over how much money you have or don't have. It will become your number one thought on your mind. Material Items are okay, as long as they don't take over your life.


Love Addictions and Relationship Addictions


Genuine love is knowing and being known by another person. It is all about building intimacy by trust and sharing about oneself. An addiction, is the opposite. An addiction necessarily involves behaviors and mental sets which push genuine love and intimacy away. An addiction dulls both positive and painful feelings and prevents us from knowing ourself. We cannot share what we do no know, and genuine intimacy cannot thrive where an addiction is present. Love addiction is about unhealthy dependency and about poor self esteem. It is about a fear of abandonment and about an impaired sense of identify. It is about holding on to a relationship at all costs. It is not about loving too much. We are able to depend on another too much, we are able to cling to another too much, we are able to give another person too much responsibility for our life and happiness. We cannot love too much; genuine love is never bad and can never harm us. There are two types of love addicts. The first type of addict is a person who addicted to the ideal of simply being in any relationship any relationship at all. This addict is hooked on the idea of being part of a couple regardless of who her partner actually is. The second type of love addict is the person who is addicted to a particular relationship or a particular partner. This person is able to function well when she is not romantically involved, but gets hooked on a certain person and becomes less functional when involved with that person.


Physical Appearance Addictions


Appearance Addictions can become very serious. You become so obsessed with your looks that it becomes all you think, worry, and stress about. You find so much fault and flaws about your appearance (Even ones that no one else sees, but yourself.) to the point it takes over your life. These addictions can lead to disorders like bulimia, Anorexia, and Body Dysmorphic Disorder. You'll obsessive about standing out or fitting in. Some will become obsessed about looking in a mirror and others will stay far way from them. You will spend thousands of money, just to buy clothes, make up, accessories, plastic surgery, hair cuts and colors, etc. Peeople with these addictions are never completely satisfied with themselves so they feel like they have to keep spending more and more money. They desire so much to look good, that anything else in their lives becomes second priority. Family. Work. School. Careers. Children. Religion. Physical appearance is on top of everything else for these people. The Media plays a big role on these addictions. People with Physical Appearance addictions tend to get lost in media. The Superficial things. They will look at magazines of celebrities and wish they could look 'more like then.' They will always compare themselves to others. But in reality, The people in the magaines were altered or edited in some way. This video clip from the Dove Real Beauty campaign proves it.



(More Addictions to be added)-Ash.


Real Stories From Real People.

"I had just moved from my city-based town in California to a weird suburban area in Maryland, that one day I would miss with all my heart. I was seven years old, a little girl, on the bigger side, with strawberry blonde hair and not a care in the world, until September 17th, 2000. I was walking down the hallway of my new church building, just trying to find my mom. I remember seeing him for the first time. It always starts with a boy, doesn’t it? Well, it did for me. He had brown hair, blue eyes, and a little taller than me wearing a blue dress shirt and tan khakis. That’s when I fell, hard. I was only seven, but somehow I knew that he was perfect; all I wanted. His name was Nelson. He was my age and just totally and completely amazing. During the years we had become… just a little more than acquaintances and a little less than full on friends. When I was about ten or so, still full on loving this boy, I made the mistake of telling my friend, Claralyn that I liked him. I was in my house with my other friend, Ashley, who had told me that Claralyn had spilled the news to Nelson. I knew that was the end of everything. He was only ten, definitely not interested in girls yet. From then on it had always been awkward. He knew I liked him, and it felt like he was purposely using that against me a trying to hurt me. At that moment in time all I wanted was for him to like me too.
The time he got his first girlfriend was when the cutting started. Her name was Laura and I absolutely and utterly despised her. I mean, come on, who wouldn’t? Keep in mind that I was probably eleven at this time. I don’t know how I found out about cutting, but I did, and it was bad. Every time a thought of him came in my head, I cut. Every time I heard something about him and her, or saw a picture I cut. I used scissors because that’s what I could get a hold of. Cutting soon became an excuse for anything bad that happened. I got my friend, Nicollette to cut with me too. It made me feel more secure about this thing that was ruling my life. I told myself I could never stop until I bled. So every time I cut I at least bled a little. I was addicted, but I had no clue, and by this time I was a twelve year old girl in seventh grade, ruining her life cut by cut.
I was convincing myself that at thirteen years old I was in love with a boy and that I deserved to hurt myself, because he didn’t like me back. It was always so awkward between us. I dramatized it and made it more than it ever should’ve been. I made myself cry and cut over him practically every night. I was so unhealthy.
For the next two years I would live in misery. Cutting and crying every night, constantly thinking about him, hating him and loving him, and yet barely even talking to him. I tried to tell him sometimes, how much he was hurting me. I told my friend about it, she told her mom, her mom told my mom, and I denied it (the cutting). My mom was gullible enough to believe me. She couldn’t see past my fake facade. I hid it oh so well. Until, one night I’d had enough…of life.
My dad and I had just gotten in a huge fight. The other night my friend Sarah (who also cut) had overdosed on Advil. She took eight. I decided to do the same, except more. I was fed up with my family, my love for Nelson, my cutting, and basically life. I tried to kill myself. I overdosed on Advil, too. I took fifteen pills, and two seconds later texted my best friend, Leticia, scared to death. I was crying and crying. She was still at school and had the teacher call poison control and my mom. I got rushed to the hospital, and ended up having to drink two whole bottles of charcoal. It was horrid; but not enough for me to stop myself the second time, although this time, at least I was able to go back home.
After this experience I just kind of went on with life, although not nearly the same as before. I cautiously got back into cutting, and gradually declined my attendance in school. I was getting more and more depressed every day that I lived. The beginning of my sophomore year I overdosed again. This time, though, on the Zoloft that I was supposed to be taking. I just wanted to be gone. So I took about twenty pills. I didn’t text my friend right away this time. I just laid there trying to go to sleep and never wake up, although it was hard since I was bawling my eyes out. It was a classic, a depressed teenage girl killing herself over a boy.
Sitting in the silence, contemplating what to do, a half hour later my friend called me worried and then called my mom, who then angrily rushed me, again, to the hospital. Same old same, more charcoal, however, this time I was put into the Psychiatric Unit at Johns Hopkins Hospital; but even one of the best hospitals in the nation could not help my screwed up thinking patterns. I made them think it did though. I faked being happy for a good month or so. After Johns Hopkins I was put in an out-patient program called MSA which I went to everyday after school, but most days I didn’t attend school, so I went twice a day. It was helping, sort of, not really though. I wanted it to help, but it never did. It basically made it worse, because the other people who had cutting issues there told their stories, which just triggered me, and also taught me that instead of scissors, razor blades were sharper and easier. Everywhere I went, I cut. I had to. I was addicted. In the school bathrooms, at camp, in MSA bathrooms’, cutting was what I craved and needed to survive and keep me sane.
One night it was bad, so bad then ever before. It was worse than when I overdosed both times. I was feeling horrible. I needed to cut, and I was going to try razor blades. I had to break my razor to get the blades out, but at the time it was worth it. I didn’t know how severe my cutting or depression was, but what I was about to do basically explained it in one act. I took razor and carved as hard as I could NELSON into my left arm. I didn’t know that you didn’t have to push as hard as you did with scissors, but you don’t. I started bleeding immensely, I just kept going though, I didn’t care, and I loved it. I did it deep, to always remember. I thought I was going to bleed to death because it wouldn’t stop. I went downstairs and bandaged myself up. I couldn’t believe I’d bled that much, I’d probably lost a pint that night. To this day it’s still working on fading.
Surprisingly, two days later I got sent back to Johns Hopkins. I was there from January 11th to January 21st (longer than the first time). They didn’t know what to do with me. They were exploring many options, and all I wanted to do was go home. I told them everything was fine, but this time they were smart enough not to believe me. My parents discharged me on January 21st, 2009 and then told me that the next day we were going to Utah to visit a place that I might stay at to help me.
On January 23rd, 2009 I was an intake at Diamond Ranch Academy, in Hurricane, Utah. I was put into bright orange clothes so I couldn’t run away, although considering the fact that I was in the middle of the desert; I wasn’t stupid enough to do that. If you did the program perfectly, you could be out in 8 months. I was out in ten months and two weeks, so I definitely had some setbacks. At DRA I learned that I shouldn’t throw away my whole life for one boy. I’m worth so much more than that. I learned how to live with and overcome my depression. I learned to take responsibility for my actions, how to control my thoughts, and accept myself for who I am. I gained self confidence and happiness, which are two things I’ve always wanted. DRA gave me another shot at life. It gave me a chance to live happily and more healthy than ever before. I was on an emotional rollercoaster the whole time, because it was hard to be away from my family, friends, and home for that long period of time. I coped with the heartache, and instead of pushing my problems away, or running from them, I faced then head on with a smile!
Diamond Ranch Academy was the best and hardest experience I’ve had in my whole life; and it was so worth it. I graduated December 7th, 2009, and I’ve been doing great ever since. While I was away Nelson got sent away to a program as well. I have not seen him since I got sent away, but I know with all that I’ve been through, and all that I’ve learned, I can handle that experience great, and any trial that ever comes in my way, I can overcome it. I’ve been through a lot in the past eight years of my life, but I wouldn’t change it for the world."


-Katie Daly.


"My addictions have affected and changed my life forever. It not only destroyed me, but it destroyed my family as well. My relationship with my entire family became nonexistent, and as my addictions grew, I grew more and more distant from them. It affected my parents greatly as there were the ones who were constantly worrying about me. I'll never forget the night my dad drove all over town looking for me, scared that he would lose his daughter...this time for good. I had lost myself completely to all my addictions. My parents sent me to Diamond Ranch Academy in Utah on January 21, 2007. I got through the program, and graduated January 12, 2008, but i faked it. I had every intention of going home and going back to my old life again. I was home for two months and then got sent back to DRA in March of 2008 and I was there till February 2009. The second time around was a real eye opener to me, as I saw how much my addictions were desetroying my life. I did my program better the second time around and really took the advantage of "recovering." I know I will always be a recovering addict and I will struggle. I have learned that addictions DON'T bring true "happiness." I don't need something artificial to complete me. I have developed a higher power which has helped me drastically. I have slipped since being back from Utah, but I have taken the time to learn from my mistakes. I have been sober for 155 days and feel amazing. I know it's only the beginning, but I have the support and love of those around me. I have finally gotten my life on track and I have no intention of going back to my old ways which so dramatically changed my life!"


-Hannah Sinclair Cordis.

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Sex...It can wait.

Sex.



A hard topic for most of us, but a topic that should be talked about. Why? Because sex can either make or break a relationship. Sometimes, we can save the relationship, but after we've experienced something so physical with a partner, its impossible to go back. Nothing will ever be the same with that person.

We all wonder what it's like, and we all think about it sometimes. Sex can wait. It should be with someone you truely are in love with and care about deeply. Better yet, wait until you are married, because it is that much more special when you have it with someone you know you love. You will be much more happier and comfortable when you are married. Sex is a blessing from God, and he gave it to us so we can share something special with our partner. It shouldnt be used for anything less. Sex for fun, rape, or just out of curiousity won't do us any good. It can just make things worse, and most of us end up regretting the first time we have sex with someone we werent in love with.



Sex before a emotional connection...

So you really like someone, but you haven't really built anything to fall back on. The physical part of the relationship is good, but it should be taken slow. Actually WORK on building up a relationship. Communication is key. Share with eachother your thoughts and feelings. Talk about your past (if you're comfortable with it.) Do anything to get to know that person, like the back of your hand. When you have sex before you really get to know someone, it only causes both of you to become more distant and it will scare both of you. You will regret it and wish you could just rewind. Like I said, nothing will ever be the same with that person. If the relationship doesn't end right then and there, it will sooner or later. Or, the relationship will not be as healthy as it could be. It will take alot of time and patience to get the relationship back into the safe zone. THAT IS WHY YOU SHOULD WAIT IN THE FIRST PLACE!!! It should only happen when both of you truely feel ready for it. You should not pressure your girlfriend/boyfriend/partner into having sex. If they do, there's the read flag and if they cannot respect your decision, they won't respect you either.



Sex for fun...out of curiousity...

Maybe you enjoy it and don't really care who it's with, as long as you get laid. Maybe you should rethink what you are doing. Sure, It may be fun at the time, but think of all the risks you are taking when you are doing it with someone you barely even know or many different people. There are STD's, and if you are the person thinking it will never happen to you, guess again. Another risk is getting pregnant or getting someone pregnant. What are you going to do after that? Marry someone you barely know because you got pregnant? Abortion, killing an innocent baby just because of one simple action? Putting your baby up for adoption? Never talking to the person ever again just because of the pregnancy? All of these are questions we all think about and wonder.

-- ASHA. Sexually Transmitted Diseases in America: How Many Cases and at What Cost?

•More than half of all people will have an STD/STI at some point in their lifetime.

•More than $8 billion is spent each year to diagnose and treat STDs/STIs and their complications. This figure does not include HIV.

•Each year, one in four teens contracts an STD/STI.

•One in two sexually active persons will contact an STD/STI by age 25.

•One out of 20 people in the United States will get infected with hepatitis B (HBV) some time during their lives. Hepatitis B is 100 times more infectious than HIV.

•It is estimated that as many as one in five Americans have genital herpes, a lifelong (but manageable) infection, yet up to 90 percent of those with herpes are unaware they have it.

•With more than 50 million adults in the US with genital herpes and up to 1.6 million new infections each year, some estimates suggest that by 2025 up to 40% of all men and half of all women could be infected.


•Over 6 million people acquire HPV each year, and by age 50, at least 80 percent of women will have acquired genital HPV infection. Most people with HPV do not develop symptoms. Some researchers believe that HPV infections may self-resolve and may not be lifelong like herpes.

•Each year, there are almost 3 million new cases of chlamydia, many ofwhich are in adolescents and young adults. The CDC recommends that sexually active females 25 and under should be screened at least once a year for chlamydia, even if no symptoms are present.


•At least 15 percent of all American women who are infertile can attribute it to tubal damage caused by pelvic inflammatory disease (PID) , the result of an untreated STD. Consistent condom use reduces the risk of recurrent PID and related complications: significantly, women who reported regular use of condoms in one study were 60 percent less likely to become infertile.

•Consistent condom use provides substantial protection against the acquisition of many STDs, including statistically significant reduction of risk against HIV, chlamydia, gonorrhea, herpes, and syphilis.


Rape..



Are you a victim of rape? Don't worry everything will be okay, even if it seems like you're world is crashing down and you think you will never get close to another person ever again. Don't let it affect your life to the point you don't care anymore or you can barely funtion on a day to day basis. So many people love you so talk to someone about it. There are many people out there that will help you through this hard time. Revenge is never the answer. You may hate the person who did this to you, but like I talked about in an earlier post, Grudges will not help you physically and emotionally. Do yourself a favor and forgive. Even if it takes time. Maybe you're a girl and got pregnant from the rape. Well, don't do anything rash and kill your baby (THINK ABOUT IT) or EVEN YOURSELF. Yes, Girls do get depressed because of unwanted pregnancies. Once again, talk to someone about your thoughts and feelings. You will get through everything if you just keep your head up, i promise.